A snapshot
Jan. 10th, 2006 01:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwywnnyddSo, while I am at work, J. keeps in regular contact with me, keeping me updated on how the day is going.
Sometimes, all you can do is laugh.
As sent to me by J.:
Picture if you will,
It is a rainy day at home and your 2 year old son is cuddling up on your chest just about to fall asleep, when out of no where the infamous hyper bug is injected into his system. He jumps down and starts running the 400 on an imaginary in-door track that is smack in the middle of your house.
You laugh and watch even do couple of laps chasing him hearing him squeal and laugh all the while thinking that this will really knock him out.
Then it happens for no reason of any sense your son who is now running as fast as he can reverses direction and lays on the coal. Catching you by surprise he rockets by you as he tries a never before revealed trait.
He can strip and run at the same time....... As his shirt clears his shoulders and blocks his vision is when Murphy strikes.....
He runs right into the trash can which make a sound like a very wet sickly sounding belly flop onto a un sheeted waterbed. He rebounds and you feel the very quickening shot of adrenaline as your vision and hearing become acute to the point that you swear you can hear ants copulating in your walls.
He now lets out a squeal of glee that sends lightening through your whole being. You lunge forward but are angered that your feet seem glued to the ground and you watch helplessly as your son enacts the abilities of a Phats Domino 3 bank full table run corner shot on the 8 ball. He careens off the trash can (thank you for flexing plastic) with enough force to bank off the microwave counter with a sound like wet paper hitting a linoleum floor. Then AS you finally get to start moving momentum carries him into the fridge door than back toward you who by this time has gotten moving and had considerable momentum yourself.
POW!!! right into your shins, thus causing you to imitate a Flying Cadenza brother to avoid splattering your child all over the kitchen floor.
As you jump and try to clear the oncoming body of squeeling/shreiking mass you are granted a very disturbing in sight by the powers that be and you realize that the squeeling/shreiking is in fact high pitched gut rolling laughter that is coming from your son who appears to be imitating a mutant walking burrito wrap that has revolted going into the pan. At this time the mother of all things come back to nest.
GRAVITY.
You hit and roll thinking that you look like a pro but knowing that you landed with as much grace as a moldy wet sack of dog chow. As you skid to a stop you are then set upon by a happy yet dizzy child who has managed to get his shirt off you on your back down to his level and his first bloody nose. As your heart freezes in your chest as your mind starts to register the damage to your son he then stares you in the face blinks and plants a sloppy zerbert upon your forehead and is gone like a shot to run this race
again. He has apparently not lost anything but is determined to catch the
ferries you guess
A good 20 minutes later he then crawls back up onto your chest as you finally get yourself extricated from the 16th yoga position you landed in when you imitated a pro gymnast doing the floor portion of their routine kisses you on the lips lays his head down and is out cold in the time it takes you to put our arms around him and hug him remembering that you can not kill this youngling your wife would nut you in a very public place.
Please feel free to snicker and laugh as this is a brief bit of today before naptime. Your going to need to make dinner tonight=I will try to get thins picked up but NOT right now, I am going to let the pain go away bask in the afterglow of Murphy saying Hello and love my son for if I kill him I will have to do this again and I don't want that.
Sometimes, all you can do is laugh.
As sent to me by J.:
Picture if you will,
It is a rainy day at home and your 2 year old son is cuddling up on your chest just about to fall asleep, when out of no where the infamous hyper bug is injected into his system. He jumps down and starts running the 400 on an imaginary in-door track that is smack in the middle of your house.
You laugh and watch even do couple of laps chasing him hearing him squeal and laugh all the while thinking that this will really knock him out.
Then it happens for no reason of any sense your son who is now running as fast as he can reverses direction and lays on the coal. Catching you by surprise he rockets by you as he tries a never before revealed trait.
He can strip and run at the same time....... As his shirt clears his shoulders and blocks his vision is when Murphy strikes.....
He runs right into the trash can which make a sound like a very wet sickly sounding belly flop onto a un sheeted waterbed. He rebounds and you feel the very quickening shot of adrenaline as your vision and hearing become acute to the point that you swear you can hear ants copulating in your walls.
He now lets out a squeal of glee that sends lightening through your whole being. You lunge forward but are angered that your feet seem glued to the ground and you watch helplessly as your son enacts the abilities of a Phats Domino 3 bank full table run corner shot on the 8 ball. He careens off the trash can (thank you for flexing plastic) with enough force to bank off the microwave counter with a sound like wet paper hitting a linoleum floor. Then AS you finally get to start moving momentum carries him into the fridge door than back toward you who by this time has gotten moving and had considerable momentum yourself.
POW!!! right into your shins, thus causing you to imitate a Flying Cadenza brother to avoid splattering your child all over the kitchen floor.
As you jump and try to clear the oncoming body of squeeling/shreiking mass you are granted a very disturbing in sight by the powers that be and you realize that the squeeling/shreiking is in fact high pitched gut rolling laughter that is coming from your son who appears to be imitating a mutant walking burrito wrap that has revolted going into the pan. At this time the mother of all things come back to nest.
GRAVITY.
You hit and roll thinking that you look like a pro but knowing that you landed with as much grace as a moldy wet sack of dog chow. As you skid to a stop you are then set upon by a happy yet dizzy child who has managed to get his shirt off you on your back down to his level and his first bloody nose. As your heart freezes in your chest as your mind starts to register the damage to your son he then stares you in the face blinks and plants a sloppy zerbert upon your forehead and is gone like a shot to run this race
again. He has apparently not lost anything but is determined to catch the
ferries you guess
A good 20 minutes later he then crawls back up onto your chest as you finally get yourself extricated from the 16th yoga position you landed in when you imitated a pro gymnast doing the floor portion of their routine kisses you on the lips lays his head down and is out cold in the time it takes you to put our arms around him and hug him remembering that you can not kill this youngling your wife would nut you in a very public place.
Please feel free to snicker and laugh as this is a brief bit of today before naptime. Your going to need to make dinner tonight=I will try to get thins picked up but NOT right now, I am going to let the pain go away bask in the afterglow of Murphy saying Hello and love my son for if I kill him I will have to do this again and I don't want that.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-01-10 10:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-10 10:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-10 10:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-10 10:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-11 12:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-11 01:43 am (UTC)It's funnier when it's not your kid
no subject
Date: 2006-01-11 01:47 am (UTC)But I'm still on the hook for dinner :).
no subject
Date: 2006-01-11 11:57 pm (UTC)Now that I have survived them they are more amusing...
The beauty is that Unka (Granpa, etc) Rich can now work to set the stage for many of these amusing stories for my friends and family...
I can see the silent B&W film short of the Mt. vs. Bug in Cinemascope....
no subject
Date: 2006-01-12 05:39 am (UTC)They are the most ingenious creatures sometimes. And they are cute for a very good reason.