I never claimed to make sense

No matter what I do, my hair isn't returning to its previous thickness. I'm loathe to ask my GP for any of the prescriptions that are supposed to help with that because I'm already taking eight prescription meds daily, plus the "as needed" ones, plus around nine or ten OTC supplements, so I don't want to add to that list.

So! I've decided to return to wearing a hat any time I leave the house. I just refurbished my black straw top hat; it now has a large plume of black ostrich feathers, a large antique lace bow with an antique rhinestone buckle, and pink faux roses tucked around the bow. I'm still dithering about if I want to make it even MORE over-the-top by adding a bat chiffon veil that would trail down from the back of the hat. 

I'm also refurbishing all of my wide-brimmed hats, as carrying a parasol while using a cane probably requires more dexterity than I have. Everything is getting more veiling, and I'm dithering about if I need to order a few more crow skull replicas.

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Thanks to some things rolling across my IG feed, I've learned about the world of Kitchener Style Essences, which supposedly help you learn "where your style and personality blend!" So a more elaborate version of finding your color season. (Good lord, Color Me Beautiful is still going strong. What a flashback to my teens.) 

In October of last year, a "lost" essence was "found"/created: Oneiric. "A softer, more melancholic edge that merges mystery and muted darkness. Something that had never been fully acknowledged, at least not widely." Do you mean: Romantigoth? Doing more reading about it, why yes, they mean Romantigoth. But of course, the people who have latched onto it are quick to say it's not goth. Of course, what a surprise. But it's fun to read about, and is a source for more makeup inspirations.

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Speaking of makeup, let me direct you to this post on Tumblr, where an absolutely adorable young lady demonstrates how to do a ghostly and haunted makeup look for folks with darker skin. Perfection. 

(Thank you FOB/Pete Wentz for always providing entertaining song lyrics.)

Everything is ugh. My back is having one of its stretches of hurting and feeling fragile, so my life involves lidocaine patches and dipping into the stash of muscle relaxers and heavy-duty pain meds. I've been having an upswing in different types of migraines, and I suspect the main culprits are weather and stress. All I want to do is sleep, and my mood can generally be described by that Charles Darwin quote of "I am very poorly today & very stupid & I hate everybody & everything". With a large side of "meh". I really want a doctor to prescribe the historical treatment of going to the seaside for a week (with the appropriate servants to take care of me and bring me dainty treats while I sit with my feet in the ocean).

Today is particularly ugh, as we lost three writers yesterday and I need to cover their work while we hire new writers for those positions. (Yeah, read between the lines there and you can probably guess what happened.) Thankfully, I talked to my boss and asked how this would work with my current projects, and she told me that my number one priority right now is to focus on the writing/being a writer, and once those positions are backfilled, I'll go back to my Program Manager work. So at least I don't have to worry that I'm being held to two sets of different standards. But still, stressful.

Meh. 

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One thing that's been entertaining me is going through my Tumblr archives - prompted by a post going around asking people how long they've been on Tumblr oh my god 2010 really?! - and finding a lot of fun content and a lot of pink & black eye candy. But I realized (a bit too late) that I shouldn't read my text posts from 2011, because that was the worst year of my life. Dear Powers That Be, that isn't an invitation to go "hold my beer!" and try to overshoot that. I don't need that.

It's snowing. In March. Sure, why not. 

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In screaming fangirl news, AMC announced the June 7th premier date for The Vampire Lestat, posted the opening credits to YouTube, and released the second single. I DON'T WANT TO WAIT I WANT ALL OF IT NOW. 

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Speaking of vampires -- you know, one of my default states of being -- I have decided that a way to bring myself more joy is to lean into my pink and black aesthetic, with more of a vampire governess vibe. Because I've needed distraction recently, I made a Pinterest board. I may spend part of this weekend reworking my pink wide brimmed hat that has bat lace appliques on the underside of the brim and making a pink lace jabot. 

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Even more vampires: I spent last night reading a fantastic AU Hannibal/True Blood fic, only to get to the last chapter that was a note from the author saying they would no longer be updating the story as they have left the Hannibal fandom. DAMMIT.

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Health stuff: I've been having bouts of stomach bloating and pain (mostly after I eat something) for no real reason I can identify, so I tried an experiment: for the past few days, I didn't have anything with cheese, and lo, everything was fine. Today I added cheese to the exact same thing I had for yesterday's lunch, and guess what? If I have become digestively sensitive to cheese, I want to punch a divine being in the face multiple times. Cheese my beloved, don't hurt me!